ARE YOUR FRIENDS BRINGING YOU DOWN ?

A problem shared is a problem halved — or is it?

According to global 
research published in 
July last year, women’s tendency to share and workshop our problems doesn’t necessarily lighten the burden: women are twice as likely to suffer depression as men

I really miss my friend Briony. She was simply the best when things were tricky at work, and when my rogue of a reluctant boyfriend was giving me the runaround. She’s the sort of person who’ll look penetratingly at you, ask the right question, listen quietly as the dam walls break, and then settle in for an hour, or a night, or a weekend of sharing, commiserating and topping up the tea or coffee cup.

Unfortunately, that 
was the only way we connected: workshopping problems. So in the end 
I had to break up with her. It was just too depressing to revisit the bleak parts of my life every time I saw her. I felt like permission wasn’t granted to move on until we had talked the problem to death. A problem shared is supposed 
to be a problem halved. With Briony, problems instead developed quite alarming weight.

FRIEND vs THERAPIST When we’re in need, we look for friends who empathise. In fact, this can be counterproductive. Psychologist Belinda Train points out that professional therapists are trained to ‘hold’ what is shared with a calm, non-attached, but engaged state of mind — and also to be aware of how personal issues might be triggered. It’s a consciousness that means therapists can, to a large extent, avoid violating boundaries, allowing a person to process their emotions and find new perspectives.

Research from the University of Missouri suggests that this is not an uncommon issue among girlfriends — talking and revisiting problems obsessively may amplify them in our minds. In a series of studies involving nearly 2,000 children and adolescents, the researchers found that while boys (in full accordance with the cliché) tend not to see the point of talking about their problems, girls can be wedded to the warmth and empathy they find when they do.

Elise, a mother of two, has become wary of too-supportive friends. In the aftermath of her marriage breaking down, she found enormous relief in the company of a neighbour whose own husband had left her some years before. The two would sit down in their gardens on warm evenings and — with an ear cocked for sounds from sleeping children — would swap war stories.

In between, there’d be funny group emails between the two and other acquaintances in the same boat, text messages, some Facebooking — Elise found herself in a community of wittily angry women. But as the months passed and Elise began to recognise her own share of the fault for the breakdown of her marriage, her anger faded.

She began to find it strange that after three years, her neighbour still clung to anger. “I suspect the only time she felt confident was when she was acting as cheerleader for women going through the same loss,” Elise speculates. “Almost all her social interactions involved women who had been scorned or otherwise worked over. Her perspective on the issues — legitimate sadness, real loss, valid anger — had become warped; those negative feelings became her currency.”

The term sometimes used for this almost compulsive connection with problems is ‘co-rumination’, and social media has, potentially, made it a 24-hour activity.

Rumination is partly reflection, which is good, and partly brooding, 
which isn’t. Brooding tends to lead to a lack of action — it implies you’re dwelling on the negative and failing to act. Co-rumination, which involves reflection and brooding with receptive friends who’re willing to give their headspace and emotional energy over to your problem, can bring both parties into a negative emotional space.

Psychologists refer to this as emotional contagion. It can happen, says psychologist Belinda Train, when personal boundaries are not held with clarity. “Several factors are at play when we share: our own state of mind, that of the person we are sharing with, each of our relationships to the issue at hand, any interests each of us have in the outcome, and such like. When our own (often unrecognised) dynamics come to the fore when another person is sharing with us, we are in some way violating a boundary.”

For example, we might advise someone to do what we might have done in a situation rather than simply listening to the direction they are already taking. Or we might express anger towards someone who is hurting them when this is not where they are at — because we think they should be angry, or we feel angry about the situation. That’s why Elise’s neighbour was a poor confidante: she could not separate her own feelings from Elise’s very different emotional journey, and created a sense of guilt in Elise about healing and moving on.

In effect, Train says, emotional contagion is a result of not staying ‘present’ to the other person in the conversation, and being insensitive to their pace. This can leave the person who is sharing feeling they should be doing something differently, and render them even less able to digest experiences with which they were already struggling.

So where does this leave us? Simply with a warning: a problem shared can bring relief, but there need to be boundaries. Watch out for putting words in others’ mouths, or having them put in yours. If feeling down is starting to feel like your emotional default position, or if a problem is going on too long, or turning and turning fruitlessly in your mind, it might be time to get some professional help to see you over the hump.

DON'T FORGET TO REMEMBER

...put your memory to work: Secrets to success from a Memory Champion

Everyone uses their memory at some point during their workday. Whether you are a teacher, stay-at-home mom, medical professional, skilled labourer, restaurant server, or specialise in another craft, your hippocampus — the part of the brain that supports short-term memory — is critical for remembering important appointments, names and even where you parked your car.

A recent survey conducted by NMI Research and DSM Nutritional Products found that 84 per cent of more than 1,000 respondents ranked ‘memory’ as being the most important occupational skill. Other top ranking skills include problem solving (85 per cent) and organisational skills (87 per cent). 

Nelson Dellis, 28, two-time USA Memory Champion, works as a memory consultant by day. Dellis went on to win the 2012 USA Memory Championship after memorising and recalling 303 random digits in less than five minutes. 

“Many people ask me what’s the secret to memorising random names, faces, numbers and shopping lists, among many other things,” says Dellis. “I’m not super human; I’m a typical everyday guy who incorporates the right mix of lifestyle factors to help support my brain and memory health. These lifestyle factors include giving my memory a workout, eating brain-healthy foods and exercising.”

Dellis has a few secrets to his success that can be easily incorporated into your daily routine to help support the health of your hippocampus.

Tip 1:

Exercise your hippocampus. Engage in brain-stimulating activities, including reading, creating art, completing crosswords, learning a new language or playing a new instrument.

Tip 2:

Focus and make it interesting. When trying to remember a person’s name, associate it with an image. Make the image interesting and visualise the image on the person’s shoulder or on the top of their head. The more outrageous the image, the better chance that you’ll remember their name.

Tip 3:

Eat a brain-healthy diet. Foods rich in DHA omega-3 help support overall brain health and memory function. Try eating DHA-rich fish (salmon, trout, tuna) or, if you’re vegetarian or want a sustainable source of DHA, try algal DHA-fortified foods and beverages or an algal DHA supplement.

Tip 4:

Give your body a workout. Engage in physical activity for at least 30 minutes a day to encourage new brain cells and connections to form.

Dellis exercises regularly and is preparing to climb Mount Everest in early 2013.

All is Fair in Love and Mommy Wars

What makes the world’s greatest mother? Actually, don’t play by the rules, just be a mom — that’s all that matters

Imade a solemn vow not to tread anywhere near the Hilary Rosen/Ann Romney brouhaha that erupted recently, thrusting the infamous Mommy Wars to the fore yet again. But I simply couldn’t resist. Not because I have a compelling desire to foist my views upon anyone with regard to the hackneyed “stay-at-home vs. working mother” debate. Because I don’t. Feel compelled to foist, that is.

At any rate, every parent works — regardless of specific geography, formal validation or economic gain. Every parent, ostensibly, must deal with explosive diapers, projectile vomiting and curfew breaches. What’s more, every parent is surrounded by a different set of circumstances and brings a host of core beliefs to the equation, and must therefore make decisions about raising children alongside careers (or not) based upon the unique microcosm within which they live.

Indeed, one size does not fit all. And for that matter as family dynamics go, one parent’s crazy quilt is another’s richly woven tapestry. And for the record, mine’s as crazy as they come.

But I digress.

My niggling itch to weigh in on such a hot button issue stemmed from the unlikeliest of events (i.e. a brief, yet telling conversation that transpired just before the school bus arrived one morning, as we wrangled over the issue of wearing pink Converse sneakers and a hoodie, or not — an exchange during which my child shared with me an earnest wish in a moment of quiet desperation: “I just want to be normal, Mom. I want to look like everyone else, and be like everyone else. I just want to fit in.”)

Of course, her plea had nothing whatsoever to do with the contentious headlines or barbed commentary that had been bandied about via social media following CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360 discussion. But it got me thinking: isn’t that what everyone wants to some extent — moms, especially?

To be viewed as normal. To blend in with the masses — a good soldier, fighting the good fight to raise upstanding citizens, deep thinkers and impassioned individuals — and to do so without fear of censure, public or otherwise. To go about the important business of nurturing a child as best we can, without being ostracised or judged by those who “do it differently” or perhaps with more fanfare. To be ordinary and unassuming, as it were — but with extraordinary results.

I’d like to think this is what a majority of mothers aspire to achieve as we muddle through the uncertainties of parenthood — and that when all is said and done, what we really care about revolves around growing a healthy child (or children), providing for their needs and instilling within them a sense of wonder, individuality and a profound appreciation for life.

Never mind self-doubt, the unmerciful beast-of-a-thing that threatens to consume us as we step into our mothering roles each day, or the embarrassment of guilt we heap upon ourselves as a matter of course.

Whether we feel inadequate as providers (having chosen the stay-at-home path), woefully unavailable to our children (having opted to re-enter the workforce), or, dare I say it, miserably conflicted (as we endeavor to do both in the very same instant), may be of little consequence in the end.

That said, maybe it’s time for the Mommy Wars to come to a close. The combatants are, perhaps, as tired as their arguments anyway. Old news now, it would seem to most.

Besides, it’s far more productive to focus on the common ground that lies between the two camps, methinks. Some of the best advice on the subject I’ve stumbled upon of late comes from Dr Peggy Drexler, ‘Mom is Alright: Redefining the Modern-Day Mom’.

In her Huffington Post piece, she offers parents five basic tenets we would do well to adopt: 1) Refuse to be judged. 2) Be yourself. 3) Make time for what’s really important. 4) Be your best you. 5) Be active and thoughtful.

Rest assured, she’s fed up with the swirl of controversy, too.

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HATI_HATI DENGAN SITUS PENYEDIA SERIAL NUMBER DAN CRACK

Barusan nemu tool buat oprek oprek source code program yang dibuat dengan Visual Basic dan telah dicompile tentunya, soalnya kemaren abis main ketempat teman dan ngeliat ada koleksi program yg dia download dari internet dibuat dengan VB. Tertarik dengan Tampilan serta kaya dengan fitur menarik, saya lalu minta dicopykan software tersebut. Dan karena ga sempat ngorek ngorek dirumah, makanya tadi ketika nyampe dikerjaan langsung saya liat.

Wah keren juga neh software, penasaran ach pengen ngintip Source Codenya, weks da dicompile! mau ngga mau ya kudu make tool neh biar source codenya bisa keliatan!, Pencarian tool pun dimulai dan akhirnya nemu 2 tool yang direkomendasikan buat aksi ini. Yakni Reflector dan VBDecompiler , namun sayang ternyata VBDecompiler itu shareware ternyata.

Akhirnya, karena pengen dapat tool yang Gratis tapi mantap buat dipakai, saya nyari cracknya.......ting.....mbah google bilang disitus crackserialkeygen.com katanya disana ada. Langsung deh tancap bandwith ke sana..hehehehe...Tapi baru juga nyampe, nafas masih ngos ngos, Spyware Terminator saya langsung niup pluit sembari angkat kartu merah dan menunjuk titik penalti! weks ada apa ini?

Ternyata, terjadi pelanggaran berat yang dapat mengganggu kestabilan dalam keasyikan berkomputerria nantinya, jika saya harus maksakan diri masuk dalam situs tersebut, begitu kira kira pesan yang disampaikan oleh Tool Pagar Betis yang berada dibarisan depan berdampingan dengan NOD32 dan Zone Alarm! heheheehehehehehe

ScreenShoot yang tampil ketika Spyware Terminator meniup pluit dan akhirnya langsung nutup page tersebut :









saya cuman pengen berpesan buat para netter, apalagi yang hobby perpetualang mencari tool tool yang free, ya kudu hati hati dan waspada karena Virus, Spyware, Adware, Trojan, dan teman temannya akan selalu mengintai anda, wihh..da kaya pesan bang napi aja di TV. Pastikan Anti Virus anda terupdate dan Install juga software lain yang dapat membantu pertahanan komputer anda!

HINDARI SAAT WAWANCARA KERJA

Wawancara kerja berguna tidak hanya untuk menilai kemampuan Anda, tapi juga perilaku. Banyak hal harus dipersiapkan agar momen yang menentukan ini berjalan lancar. Salah satunya, mengetahui bahasa tubuh yang sebaiknya dihindari.

Profesor Mehrabian, ahli psikologi dari Universitas UCLA, Amerika, bahasa tubuh sangat menentukan penilaian terhadap diri Anda ketimbang kata-kata yang terucap. Menurut penelitiannya, gerak tubuh dan ekspresi wajah memiliki pengaruh 55 persen sementara kata-kata yang diucapkan hanya 7 persen. 

Kesempatan untuk menciptakan kesan pertama yang baik tak memakan lama. Menurut penelitian, 30 detik hingga empat menit pertama merupakan waktu kritis yang sangat menentukan. Nah, agar tak salah langkah saat wawancara kerja, hindarilah beberapa gerak tubuh yang bisa mengundang penafsiran negatif pada diri Anda.


Senyum palsu 
Masuklah ke ruangan wawancara dengan percaya diri dan senyum yang tulus. Senyum yang terpaksa akan sangat terlihat dan membuat Anda terlihat seperti orang yang suka berpura-pura. Senyum yang tulus mengesankan Anda orang yang percaya diri, terbuka, dan nyaman dengan keadaan sekitar. Tapi hindari juga tersenyum terus-menerus yang bisa memberikan sinyal yang salah pada calon atasan Anda. 


Gerakan dan posisi tangan
Gerakan tangan memegang peranan penting dalam mengekspresikan bahasa tubuh Anda. Melipat tangan di dada merupakan bahasa tubuh yang wajib dihindari. Melipat tangan di dada mengesankan Anda menjaga jarak, bersikap tertutup, atau malah terkesan bosan dengan pembicaraan ini. Mungkin saran ini sudah sering Anda dengar, tapi kenyataannya saat sedang gugup masih banyak orang melakukannya. 

Menepuk-nepukkan tangan atau terus menggerakkan tangan menandakan Anda sangat gelisah. Gerakan ini secara tidak langsung juga bisa membuat orang yang mewawancarai Anda menjadi tidak nyaman dan terganggu.

Hindari juga mengetuk-ketukan tangan ke meja saat proses wawancara. Melakukan hal ini secara tidak langsung Anda mengirimkan sinyal kalau Anda bosan atau merasa lebih tahu dari si pewawancara. 

Sebaiknya letakkan tangan Anda secara santai dan terbuka di posisi yang paling membuat Anda santai. Hindari terlalu banyak menggunakan gerakan tangan atau jari untuk menghindari kesan yang salah. 


Jabatan tangan
Saat memulai dan mengakhiri wawancara jangan lupa jabat tangan si pewawancara dan ucapkan terimakasih. Jabat tangan dengan erat namun wajar. Jangan biarkan tangan terlalu lemas atau mencengkeram terlalu keras. Jika telapak tangan Anda berkeringat, seka dahulu keringat di tangan Anda sebelum masuk ke ruang wawancara. 


Menyentuh wajah
Menyentuh wajah sebaiknya dihindari saat wawancara kerja. Gerakan ini dapat menyiratkan Anda gugup atau tidak jujur terhadap pernyataan Anda. 


Posisi kaki
Duduklah dengan kedua kaki menyentuh lantai yang menggambarkan Anda nyaman dan percaya diri. Saat gugup atau cemas Anda sering tak membuat gerak tubuh secara tidak sadar. Salah satu yang paling sering ditemui adalah menggerak-gerakan kaki tanpa henti. Gerakan kaki ini menandakan Anda sangat tidak nyaman bahkan tak sabar ingin keluar dari ruangan. 


Kontak mata & posisi duduk 
Kontak mata dengan si pewawancara memang baik. Tapi terus-menerus menatap si pewawancara tanpa henti juga bisa membuat dia tidak nyaman. Ahli gerak tubuh Janine Driver mengatakan, 60 persen kontak mata sudah cukup membuat Anda terlihat antusias. Selain mata, fokuskan tatapan pada segitiga bagian atas wajah yaitu area sekitar alis kanan-kiri dan pertengahan hidung. 

Jangan terlalu sering menatap bagian bawah wajah terutama bagian mulut dan dahi yang bisa membuat si pewawancara menjadi tidak nyaman. Jika pewawancara Anda lebih dari satu, tatap mereka secara bergantian. Hindari tatapan kosong yang membuat lawan bicara Anda kurang nyaman.

Duduklah dengan posisi yang nyaman, tidak terlalu tegak maupun tidak terlalu bersandar. Condongkan tubuh sedikit (sedikit saja) ke arah pewawancara untuk menandakan Anda fokus dan antusias. 

Selamat mencoba! 

SANDAL JEPIT BISA BERBAHAYA

Memakai sendal jepit memang dipilih sebagian orang karena kepraktisannya. Sayangnya, para ahli menyimpulkan bahwa memakai sendal jepit dalam jangka panjang amat berisiko bagi kesehatan.

Sendal jepit dianggap berbahaya karena jari kaki tidak bisa terangkat dengan rileks, dan ini mengarah pada perubahan tekanan lebih besar pada pergelangan kaki dan tekanan vertikal yang lebih kecil di tumit.

Kerusakan pada kaki yang mengenakan sendal jepit lebih serius daripada sepatu hak tinggi. Para ahli memperingatkan bahwa sendal jepit dapat mengubah cara berjalan seseorang, sehingga ketika mengambil langkah, mereka memberikan tekanan pada bagian luar kakinya daripada tumitnya. Pada akhirnya menyebabkan kerusakan jangka panjang.

Sendal jepit kurang memberikan dukungan pada telapak kaki, sehingga dapat menyebabkan rasa sakit dan lengkungan tendon. Selain itu, ada juga risiko cidera serius dari tersandung.

Tak hanya itu, sebuah hasil tes juga menunjukkan bahwa sendal jepit merupakan sarang kuman. Sendal yang dipakai selama empat hari berturut-turut akan menjadi menjadi rumah bagi bakteri mematikan, seperti staphylococcus aureus, yang bersembunyi di karet sendal.

Jika Anda memiliki luka di sekitar kaki, maka bakteri bisa memasuki aliran darah. Bila tak segera ditangani, maka bisa menyebabkan kematian.

"Bakteri staphylococcus aureus dapat membuat sakit Anda cukup berat jika bakteri tersebut masuk kedalam luka dan ke dalam aliran darah Anda, dimana bakteri bisa menyerang organ internal Anda yang manapun. Jika Anda tidak mengobatinya dengan antibiotik, nyawa Anda akan terancam," papar ata Dennis Kinney, Ph.D., manajer laboratorium mikrobiologi di EMSL Analytical.

TIPS MEMBELI SEPATU

Dari sekian banyak kegiatan belanja yang dilakukan wanita, membeli sepatu adalah aktivitas yang paling menyenangkan. Namun jika dilakukan sembarangan, bisa-bisa sepatu baru hanya dipakai 2-3 kali lalu berakhir berdebu di dalam rak.

Agar tak salah pilih sepatu, cermati beberapa hal berikut:

1. Berbelanjalah di sore hari
Sore hari setelah seharian beraktivitas, kaki biasanya akan sedikit membengkak. Inilah saat yang tepat untuk membeli dan mencoba sepatu karena kaki sedang dalam ukurannya yang paling besar dan Anda tak akan tersiksa karena membeli sepatu kesempitan.

2. Cermati bahannya
Menyesuaikan dengan tren boleh saja. Namun untuk kesehatan kaki, pilihlah material yang memungkinkan kaki untuk bernapas. Pilihan terbaik adalah bahan kulit atau bahan sintetis yang lembut. Hindari bahan plastik atau kulit yang kaku, tak fleksibel, dan tak menyisakan area bernapas bagi kaki.

3. Coba dulu
Ukuran sepatu tak pernah sama di tiap negara, bahkan di tiap merk. Inilah mengapa tak disarankan membeli sepatu secara online mengandalkan hanya nomor sepatu. Agar tak berakhir dengan sepatu kekecilan, kebesaran, atau tak nyaman dipakai, selalu coba kedua sepatu di kiri dan kanan. Jika Anda membeli sepatu yang akan Anda pakai dengan kaus kaki, kenakan pula kaus kaki saat Anda mencobanya.

4. Berjalanlah beberapa langkah
Ini penting untuk mengetahui apakah sepatu tersebut nyaman di kaki Anda saat dipakai berjalan. Jangan harap sepatu makin lama akan makin nyaman. Saat pertama dicoba, mungkin sepatu masih kaku. Namun jika sudah tak enak dipakai berjalan, ia akan tetap seperti itu meski Anda sudah memakainya berbulan-bulan.

5. Pastikan pas
Sepatu yang baik dan pas di kaki adalah sepatu yang mewadahi tumit Anda dengan baik sehingga saat Anda berjalan posisi tumit tak bergeser-geser di dalam sepatu. Pastikan juga jemari kaki Anda tidak terlalu berdesakan di dalam sepatu. Sepatu harus menyisakan ruang di antara jempol kaki Anda dan jari kaki yang terpanjang.

MENGATASI RASA BOSAN DIKANTOR

Berada di kantor selama hampir seharian penuh terkadang membuat Anda jenuh. Untuk melampiaskan rasa bosan itu, tak perlu bepergian ke tempat yang jauh atau menghabiskan jutaan rupiah. Ini beberapa hal kecil yang bisa Anda lakukan di kantor:

Menikmati kopi
Ada kalanya Anda memang merasa penat di kantor dan memerlukan asupan minuman tertentu supaya merasa lebih segar dan bersemangat menyelesaikan pekerjaan yang tertunda. Ayo! Jangan paksakan diri untuk terus bekerja, segera raciklah kopi Anda sendiri.

Mendengarkan musik
Tarik napas dalam-dalam ketika Anda mulai merasa bosan dan jenuh dengan pekerjaan di depan layar komputer. Putar lagu-lagu favorit dan jangan segan menyenandungkan lagu tersebut jika hal itu dapat membuat Anda lebih bahagia. Jika cara ini tidak berhasil, cobalah menjauh dari keramaian, menenangkan diri dan putar lagu klasik untuk meredam emosi.

Makan camilan
Baru saja Anda izin keluar untuk makan siang tapi tak lama kemudian Anda sudah lapar dan merasa tak punya gairah untuk melanjutkan pekerja. Bagi sebagian orang, cara terampuh untuk menaikkan suasana hati bekerja adalah dengan makan camilan. Maka dari itu, ada baiknya jika Anda menyediakan beberapa makanan ringan di kantor. 

Menelepon
Silakan menelepon siapa pun yang Anda suka. Mengobrol santai dengan teman, pacar, orangtua atau mungkin anak Anda yang baru saja belajar berbicara dapat memberikan energi positif  yang akan membuat Anda lebih giat bekerja dengan suasana hati yang berbahagia.

Berjalan seputar kantor
Mungkin Anda jenuh melihat suasana kaku dari kubikel berisikan orang-orang yang sedang sibuk akan pekerjaannya. Jika sempat dan memiliki waktu yang cukup lengang, berjalan-jalanlah ke sekitar gedung kantor bagian luar untuk menghirup udara segar.

Menelusuri permainan
Idealnya suatu kantor haruslah menyediakan permainan yang dapat dipergunakan para karyawannya untuk mengusir rasa bosan di tengah kesibukan. Permainan yang disediakan pun bisa beragam, mulai dari meja foosball, meja billiard hingga bermain video games bersama rekan sekantor.

Terhubung dengan media sosial
Jika kantor Anda memiliki kebijakan yang tidak memperbolehkan karyawannya mengakses media sosial seperti Facebook dan Twitter, tidak ada salahnya sesekali dilanggar. Mencuri waktu untuk berinteraksi sekedarnya dalam mengatasi kebosanan di kantor, semestinya tidak akan menjadi masalah selama itu tidak menganggu aktivitas pekerjaan Anda seharian. 

Merayu
Jangan langsung marah dan geer dulu jika di kantor ada yang merayu Anda. Beberapa rekan kerja kelihatannya memang suka iseng melemparkan rayuan manis dan genit ketika berada di kantor. Namun ternyata, hal semacam ini hanya berlaku sebagai guyonan untuk mengusir rasa jenuh seseorang di kantor. Coba diingat lagi, pernahkah Anda melakukan hal serupa?

MENGATASI RASA CEMBURU

Cemburu sering disebut tanda cinta, tapi tak jarang rasa cemburu malah jadi bumerang dalam hubungan. Cemburu berlebihan sering menjadi alasan suatu hubungan menjadi berantakan.

Saat cemburu berlebihan melanda, jangan buru-buru terbawa emosi. Atasi dulu perasaan tersebut, sehingga pikiran Anda lebih jernih. Ini caranya!

1. Jaga jarak
Saat rasa cemburu datang, emosi Anda pasti berkobar. Ketimbang Anda meledak-ledak di depan pasangan, lebih baik jaga jarak terlebih dahulu. Jika suasana hati Anda sudah lebih tengang, maka segalanya bisa dibicarakan.

2. Bicara
Setelah emosi terkendari, ajak pasangan Anda untuk berbicara dari hati ke hati. Jelaskan padanya perasaan Anda. Siapa tahu kalian berdua bisa berembuk dan mendapatkan jalan ke luar yang terbaik.

3. Jangan asal menuduh
Jangan langsung melabrak kekasih begitu saja ketika melihatnya bersama orang lain. Pastikan dulu apa yang terjadi. Berilah kesempatan kekasih Anda untuk menjelaskan. Jangan sampai tuduhan Anda tidak berdasar.

4. Beri contoh
Jika memang Anda tak mau pasangan terlalu dekat dengan orang lain, Anda pun harus melakukan hal yang sama. Jika ingin perasaan Anda dijaga, pastikan juga Anda telah menjaga perasaannya.

5. Hargai diri sendiri
Terkadang rasa cemburu berlebihan timbul karena Anda kurang percaya diri. Ingatlah, kekasih telah menjatuhkan pilihannya pada Anda. itu berarti ada kelebihan di diri Anda yang tak ia temukan di diri orang lain. Jadi buat apa cemburu berlebihan?

Apapun alasannya, sesuatu yang berlebihan tidak pernah baik. Termasuk cemburu berlebihan. Jadi jangan sampai emosi menguasai akal sehat Anda. Selamat berbahagia!

CARA MENGETAHUI NOMER HP PRIBADI SEMUA OPERATOR DI SELURUH INDONESIA

Berikut ini adalah kode rahasia dari masing-masing operator seluler yang harus Anda tahu agar Anda bisa mengetahui nomor HP pribadi Anda.

Untuk kartu INDOSAT

Ketik : *777*8# lalu Yes / Call

Untuk kartu XL

Ketik : *123*22*1*1# lalu Yes / Call

Untuk kartu TELKOMSEL ( SIMPATI / AS )

Ketik : *808# lalu Yes / Call

Untuk kartu AXIS

Ketik : *2# lalu Yes / Call

Untuk kartu THREE (3)

Ketik : *998# lalu Yes / Call

Untuk kartu FLEXI, ESIA, StarOne, SMART dan FREN

Pasang simcard di ponsel Nokia, lalu ketik : *3001#kode pengaman# .Contoh : *3001#12345# Lalu tunggu sampai keluar Menu, pilih NAM1 kemudian geser kebawah pilih “Own number (MDN)”.Maka akan terlihat nomer pribadi kartu Anda.

Semoga tips cara mengetahui nomer HP pribadi untuk semua operator seluler ini bermanfaat.

MENYADAP SMS DI HAND PHONE

Sekarang sudah ada cara sadap/mengalihkan panggilan, sms, telepon, pembicaraan private bahkan BBM juga bisa disadap. Kalau kamu ingin tahu cara menyadap dengan cara mudah, kamu cukup punya handphone biasa saja. Dengan handphone biasa ini, kamu dapat menyadap sms orang lain tanpa aplikasi apa pun yang diinstal.

Trik sadap sms dengan menggunakan trik operator selular.

Bagi kamu para pengguna operator selular XL, kamu sangat beruntung. Karena dengan menggunakan operator ini, kamu dapat melakukan penyadapan secara sederhana. Dan kamu dapat membaca petunjuk berikut ini.

1. Siapkan gadget orang yang ingin kamu sadap.

2. Ketik *123*571# di gadget korban, lalu kamu tekan CALL.

3. Setelah itu kamu akan mendapat beberapa pilihan, jadi kamu pilih no 2 ( Layanan Lain )

4. Dari pilihan tadi, akan muncul 2 pilihan baru, yaitu :

• AUTO FORWARD => Menerima SMS orang lain langsung tanpa masuk ke no HP korban.

• AUTO COPY => Menerima SMS orang lain yang masuk ke no HP korban dan juga ke no HP kamu sendiri.

5. Setelah itu, kamu pilih yang AUTO COPY, agar kamu dapat mengetahui lebih detail lagi tanpa ketahuan. Dan kemudian, kamu tungggu konfirmasi dari operator XL untuk pemotongan biaya ( 1000/ bulan )

6. Lalu kamu mengirim sms dari HP korban dengan format : COPY ON lalu kirim ke no HP kamu. Maka proses sadap SMS sudah berhasil.

Trik sadap sms dengan menggunakan Blackberry dan Android.

cara untuk sadap BBM untuk kamu para pengguna BB. Ini khusus untuk BB asli bukan BB cina punya. Ok, langsung saja kamu perhatikan langkah-langkah berikut ini. 

1. Siapkan BB korban untuk dilakukan instalasi aplikasi sadap BBM

2. Silahkan kamu login ke situs www.dexrex.com , silahkan kamu daftar dengan cara mengisi nama, email, password, pilih Message Plan Dexrex Free.

3. Setelah itu kamu akan mendapat 2 pilihan untuk memilih.

Jika kamu pengguna BB, maka pilih BLACKBERRY dan jika Android, kamu pilih ANDROID. Setelah itu akan ada verifikasi email dan kamu akan diberi link untuk download aplikasinya. 

5. Selanjutnya, pada halaman tersebut kamu akan mendapatkan instruksi cara penginstalan aplikasinya di gadget kamu.

6. Setelah instalasi selesai, maka aplikasi sudah dapat berjalan di BB korban dan jika di close aplikasi tetap berjalan dan melakukan connect server automatis.

Perhatian..! Cara ini digunakan untuk hal yang penting saja.

Mulai sekarang berhati-hatilah dengan Handphone anda, jangan sampai dipegang, pindah tangan atau dipinjamkan ke orang lain.

OK, Selamat mencoba.

ANIMASI KARTUN SEDERHANA

Jika disinggung tentang animasi sebenarnya yg langsung ada di benak saya pasti macromedia flash mungkin karena saya hanya familiar dengan flash saja kali ya?atau memang itu aja yg software yg pernah digunakan ups..tambah satu lg swiss...yah..cuma dialah yg tau...Nah, kali ini saya akan berbagi cara membuat animasi yang sangat sangat simple sekali, dijamin pasti bisa membuat animasi kartun jika menggunakan software ini.

Dalam software mini ini, sudah dilengkapi karakter yg siap pakai dan yg kita lakukan hanya mengatur gerakan per Frame dan mengatur posisi dan letak bagian tubuh dari karakter/animasi yg kita gunakan, sangat simple. Berikut ini tampilan aplikasinya

 

Sangat sederhana sekali kan,tampilannya...output animasinya dapat kita simpan dalam bentuk Movie (.avi) dan gambar bergerak (.gif). berikut contoh simple yg iseng-iseng saya buat dengan output file .gif dengan judul "damai aja deh"...

Nah, sekian dulu deh info singkatnya..jika teman-teman sudah mencobanya mohon posting hasilnya di menu comment ya...selamat mencoba dan semoga bermanfaat...

PROTECT YOUR PRIVACY

More 
people are sharing photos and videos online with friends and family, as well as with those they’ve never met. Consider this: One hour of video is uploaded onto YouTube every second. Pinterest, which lets people collect and share digital images, has grown to about 12 million users since launching in 2010. The growth of these and other websites makes it easier for videos and images to be shared and reshared online — or at least end up in places beyond where they were originally posted.
“With the advances in smartphones, digital cameras and social websites, more people are becoming interested in photography and videography, and they’re able to share their work broadly and quickly with others,” says Bill Robbins, an award-winning advertising photographer, commercial film director and current programme chair of professional photography at Brooks Institute in California. “But no matter if you’re a professional, amateur or simply enjoy taking and sharing pictures or videos, it’s important to consider how and when to protect your work. It’s something that we teach our aspiring professionals and something that others may benefit from learning.”
Take well-known ‘mommy blogger’ Danielle Smith for example: Smith, her family and her blog, ExtraordinaryMommy.com, made international headlines when a family photo (one used for their Christmas card) was taken from one of her sites and used in an advertisement in the Czech Republic.
Whether you are an aspiring professional photographer, videographer or just someone who wants to share your unique content with others while still getting credit for it, here are five things Robbins suggests you consider before sharing your work online:
Know what you’re getting into. Read the Terms and Conditions on photo- and video-sharing sites like Flickr, Picasa and Photobucket to make sure you fully understand and agree to the terms. Notice if the site has a designated copyright agent, displays a take-down procedure and has a clear copyright policy.
Obtain a Creative Commons licence and share your original content on sites that honour those licences, like Flickr, Pinterest and YouTube. Creative Commons licences help creators retain copyright while allowing others to copy, distribute, and make certain uses of their work. Every Creative Commons licence also ensures licensors get the credit for their work they deserve.
Keywording is key. “Keywording a photo is almost as important as the photo itself to drive people to your image online,” says Robbins. “Think of keywording as drilling for oil. You start with the obvious word and then keep drilling down until there is nowhere else to drill.” For example, if your image features a sumo wrestler, start by tagging your photos with words you think people will use to search for your particular image, like ‘sumo’, then use words that are more conceptual to the image, like ‘big’, ‘strong’, ‘powerful’ and ‘wide body’.
Consider your audience before you share. Are they trustworthy? Will they give credit where it is due? Use programmes that allow you to have control over your audience, and that let you select your own privacy settings to ensure you have full control over how and with whom your content is shared.
Make it your own. Consider developing your own website or blog to post your original content so that it’s always tied back to your personal brand. Include a copyright disclaimer on your site. Then spread links back to your site through your social channels.

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH

The allure of summoning hope in the face of impossibility is simply too delicious for any of us to resist

“If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride.” I remember hearing that expression as a child, but I never fully understood the particulars of its meaning. Needless to say, my charges are equally baffled by such utterances, shooting me that patented Mom-is-slightly-deranged look whenever I make mention of horses and beggars.
“We’re not asking for a pony, Mom — just a golden retriever and a hotel thingy for our hamsters.” Odds are, I reach for such an idiom because I’ve grown weary of my brood’s ceaseless petitioning. Indeed, I’ve become fairly intolerant of the phrase, “I want…” or “I wish…” when coupled with anything even remotely frivolous.
I suppose that my 
plight in this regard is not all that uncommon. Whiny children are ubiquitous, and the allure of summoning hope in the face of impossibility is simply too delicious for any of 
us to resist. That said, we all wish for things we 
cannot have — if only to taste, ever so fleetingly, what could be. It’s as if we forget our practical selves and instead indulge in unbridled possibility. At least I do.
So I guess I shouldn’t expect anything less from my progenies. Nor should I be appalled to learn that one of them had the audacity to make a desperate plea for something entirely self-serving — like the abolishment of a certain brand of schoolwork. Technically speaking, she didn’t actually MAKE the wish (or so I was later informed), but its merits were heavily weighed against the drawbacks. Thankfully, she came to her senses.
“I’ve been thinking about my wishing stone, Mom…” (i.e. the perfectly wonderful keepsake harvested from the shores of Nova Scotia by two of the most thoughtful neighbors I’ve encountered in recent memory). “I really hate math and I almost wished that math homework were NEVER INVENTED!”
Of course, I gasped for dramatic effect.
“But then I realised if I didn’t have math homework, I’d probably never learn how to cash my paychecks and stuff — which would be horrible,” she continued.
“Good point,” I acknowledged. “Luckily, you didn’t follow through.”
“Yep. I saw a shooting star once and wished that I could see my third grade teacher AND THE VERY NEXT DAY I got to visit her. Shooting stars really work, Mom…if you wish hard. I’m pretty sure this stone will work, too, so I might wish I could fly next — which would be awesome, but it’s sort of silly, isn’t it? People can’t fly.”
And at that, I was silenced. All my mothering instincts and kernels of wisdom abandoned me, rendering me incapable of responding. A wish is still a wish, right? Whether exceedingly outlandish or pitifully sensible. Whether it’s spelled out in great detail upon the pages of one’s diary or whispered earnestly into the folds of one’s blankets, long after tuck-ins are complete and the shroud of night has fallen. Perhaps I would do well as the appointed curator of my kids’ beloved supplications to handle them with more care, resisting the urge to dismiss them as trifling or unworthy of anyone’s time.
Indeed, nothing serves to ground me more than being privy to their cache of profoundly compassionate longings — the ones so completely unrelated to that which is fanciful or imprudent.
“I wish Freddy didn’t have to move away.”
“I wish everyone in 
the world had a house to live in.”
“I wish Grandma’s cancer would go away.”
More than once I’ve made the mistake of 
assuming that the “I wish…” portion of their plea would be followed by something entirely foolish. Shame on me.
Likewise, I distinctly remember wishing my oldest daughter would grow up sooner — because it seemed vastly more impressive to parent a child whose age in years could be expressed 
with two digits, as oppo-sed to something as unremarkable as an eight or a nine.
Naturally, it followed that having a teenager trumped having a 
12-year-old, and so on. 
So many years later, it 
is plain to see that my 
wish was granted — a wish I now lament ever having made. -

CARA MENGHEMAT BATERE LAPTOP

Fuihh….cape juga setelah berlama-lama ngetik buat bikin materi di blog (belajar nih, biar makin lancarr..zizizi…), iseng-iseng kuputar deh mp3..”dan aku yang terluka oleh hatimu, kuyakin bisa tanpamu....”… blip..tiba2 ada layar kecil di pojok kanan bawah laptopku, waahhh…baterenya udah mo abis @#$%#^.
Pasti gak asik kan kalo kita dapet kejadian kayak gitu?? Walaupun sebenarnya kita secara tidak sadar terkadang memang memboroskan pemakaian baterai laptop kita. Nah berikut ini 14 hal yang dapat dilakukan untuk menghemat baterai laptop:

1. Matikan yang tidak diperlukan. Biasanya kita lupa mematikan Bluetooth dan Wi-Fi setelah digunakan. Sekarang kan sudah banyak fasilitas satu tombol untuk ON/OFF perangkat itu, tinggal “klik”.
2. Turunkan ke-terang-an layar monitor. Dalam kondisi tertentu kita membutuhkan layar monitor yang lebih berpendar utnuk membuat mata kita nyaman. Tapi coba bayangkan jika kita dalam keadaan gelap dengan layar yang gemerlap…sakit tuh mata! Turunkan ke-terang-annya, karena konsumsi baterai laptop paling banyak untuk layar.
3. Lepaskan peralatan yang tidak perlu. Colok iPod, USB flashdisk, 3G data card, and so on. Peralatannya sih kecil, tapi kalo 5 alat masing2 2 watt = 10 watt juga kan konsumsi dayanya, terus baterai laptop kemampuannya berapa watt??
4. Optimasi Pengaturan Daya. Di Windows XP, Vista, Unix terdapat fasilitas hemat konsumsi daya, coba klik ke Control Panel –> Power Option, pastikan sevice untuk menghemat listrik, seperti: matikan layar atau harddisk jika tidak digunakan untuk waktu ….(pilih saja 1 menit, gak masalah kok)
5. Perhatikan baterai. Banyak orang percaya Lithium-Ion baterai tak perlu di charge sampai penuh, kira2 kalo gak penuh lalu kita berpikir kinerjanya bakalan maksimal?? Jangan ambil resiko, charge sampai penuh jika ada kesempatan!!
6. Jangan gunakan service grapik yang tidak perlu. Sistem operasi sekarang memanjakan mata penggunanya dengan tampilan yang menawan, resikonya kartu grafis kerja lebih keras, konsekuensinya?? Daya yang diperlukan semakin banyak!! Bahkan kartu grafis Nvidia 9400M yang digunakan oleh MacBook, masih menggunakan daya sebesar 12watt. Cobalah buang beberapa keindahan untuk mata anda sebentar saja (kan kalo hanya pakai laptop tanpa asupan listrik om PLN).
7. Gunakan memori yang besar. Data yang disimpan atau dibaca dari harddisk yang di proses memori, jika terlalu besar akan menggunakan ruangan cadangan (virtual/swap memory) diharddisk. Keadaan ini memaksa harddisk berputar lebih banyak, daya diperlukan untk menggerakkannya. Berikan tambahan memori (RAM) pada laptop, karena RAM mengkonsumsi daya lebih sedikit dibandingkan harddisk.
8. Kerjakan pekerjaan prioritas.!! Pasti kan?
9. Atur Hibernasi (hibernation). Atur waktu hibernasi laptop anda, jadi jika komputer ditinggal untuk waktu yg agak lama secara otomatis akan hibernasi, berhenti sementara semua sistemnya, daya?? sangat sedikit dikonsumsi.
10. Keluarkan CD/kepingan disk dari disk drive-nya. Selama CD masih berada dalam drive, terkadang drive akan memutarnya secara otmatis terutama jika kita sedang mencari file di folder tertentu. Gunakan CD dengan bijak.
11. Jangan install aplikasi dari CD. Semakin sering putaran CD drive, semakin besar konsumsi daya. Instalasi sebaiknya menggunakan flasdisk.
12. Matikan/kecilkan volume speaker. untuk menghasilkan suara, speaker mambutuhkan asupan daya untuk menggerakkan membrannya. Semakin besar daya yang diberikan, semakin besar suaranya. Well, dengarkan musik dahulu atau kerja dulu, atau keduanya???
13. Defrag harddisk secara teratur. Dengan defrag, kita mengatur ulang susunan file, so memori akan lebih mudah mencari file jika susunannya teratur. Tapi lakukan defragmenter ketika anda menggunakan aliran listrik ya, bukan sedang menggunakan baterai.
14. Kurangi aplikasi background. Aplikasinya dapat berupa “Search”, “Schedule Task”, and etc. Matikan saja jika sedang tidak digunakan.

Nah selamat mencoba tips di atas, semoga yang kita keluhkan selama ini bisa diatasi. Buat yg mendukung isu pencegahan pemanasan global ini mungkin bisa menjadi acuan juga ya..heheh…..

So, What Is Your 'Attachment' Type ?

New research claims that there are only three kinds of relationships in a man-woman pairing: finding out your personal attachment style could be the key to lasting love.

Ever wondered why you choose the wrong guy over and over again? Conventional wisdom has it that if you pick unavailable men, you’ve got no one but yourself to blame. After all, the only thing they’ve got in common is you, and the fact you keep picking them. But now, Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment, a new book by neuroscientist Amir Levine and social psychologist Rachel Heller, looks to turn this tough love stance on its head: it might all be down to whether your attachment style works with his, they say.
“When you go into therapy it’s all about what you bring to the table,” says Levine. “But what happens in the space between two people is a dyadic process.” In other words, it’s the dynamic between the two of you that accounts for the quality of a relationship. The key to understanding this dynamic? Getting a handle on your attachment style.
According to Levine, there are three distinct attachment styles: anxious, avoidant and secure. Anxious people crave intimacy, can become preoccupied with relationships, and worry about their partner’s capacity to love them back. Avoidant types prize autonomy over intimacy, and often push their partner away. Meanwhile, secure people feel comfortable getting close and are generous with their affection.
Where we get our attachment styles from is still up for debate. There’s some evidence that it may be genetic; the dopamine receptor DRD2 has been linked to anxious attachments, while the serotonin 5-hT1a has been linked to avoidants. But it could also be tied to the way our parents interacted with us as babies. Either way, these styles are encoded into us at a young age.
British psychiatrist John Bowlby, who conducted some of the first experiments on attachment theory, found that by 12 months, you could already tell a child’s attachment style. But that doesn’t mean you’re stuck with your style forever; you can change your default setting, but it will take time and effort.

Secure 
attachments

Do you refuse to play games? Find it easy to communicate your needs? Feel comfortable with intimacy? See your partner’s wellbeing as your responsibility?
For those with anxious or avoidant styles, a partnership with a secure comes complete with a built-in relationship coach. Because secures know how to communicate in a direct and honest way, their good habits will rub off onto their partners; researchers have found that ‘mixed’ couples (that is, couples made up of one secure and one anxious or avoidant) function just as well as a partnership between two secures.
When it comes to other people’s needs, secures have a ‘sixth sense’, which means they instinctively know how to soothe and comfort an anxious partner before they panic. And because they assume they’re lovable, and go into a relationship expecting to be treated well, they remain unfazed when an avoidant tries to push them away. Although they’re often dismissed as ‘boring’ by anxiously attached people, they’re actually anything but.
Levine describes secures as the ‘supermates’ of evolution, and bagging one offers the most expedient route to a satisfying relationship.

Anxious 
Attachments

Do you feel unhappy when you’re on your own? Worry you’re essentially unlovable? Let your partner set the pace of the relationship?
“If you’re anxious, you want closeness and intimacy,” says Levine. “But if you think about the attachment system as an alarm system, then anxious people have a sensitive alarm system that goes off very, very easily.”
Remember Sex and the City’s Carrie and her constant dithering over on/off boyfriend Mr Big (way back before he finally capitulated)? Levine says this was the quintessential anxious/avoidant pairing. She spent most of her downtime talking about the relationship and was always asking for more than he was prepared to give.
Meanwhile, he was obsessed with staking out his space (he wouldn’t even give her a drawer in his bedside cabinet) and flatly refused to talk about their future.
Unfortunately, anxious and avoidant people are hopelessly drawn to each other. It rarely makes for a happy relationship. Anxious people are finely attuned to the subtlest shifts in their partner’s mood, and one unanswered SMS can send them into a tailspin of anxiety. When the avoidant finally replies, the sense of relief can be overwhelming.
They often mistake this roller-coaster effect for true love. But avoidants only exacerbate their anxious tendencies; they’d be much better off with a secure.

Avoidant 
Attachments

Do you feel stifled by relationships? Have a clear idea of your ‘ideal’ partner, which no one has yet measured up to? Try to preserve your independence at all costs? Finish relationships frequently and get over exes quickly?
Just as anxious partners are keen to get close, avoidants like to keep a certain amount of distance between them and their partner. They do this by finding fault, refusing to commit, keeping secrets, pining after an ex or ‘the one’ they’re sure is just around the corner.
They’re attracted to anxious people (one study failed to find even one avoidant/avoidant couple) but irritated by their need for intimacy. When an anxious partner pushes for proof of their love, rather than reassure them, they will become even more distant, which creates a constant cycle of stress and recrimination. Avoidants try to confine their emotions, but are often unsatisfied in their relationships. They too are better off with secures.

Is co-dependence such a bad thing?

“Dependency has got a 
bad rep,” says Levine. “The [anti] co-dependency movement has decided that you have to be two grown-ups, take care of your own needs, and then meet together in a very adult way. But the truth is, our biology is not like that. When we get attached to someone, we become almost like one unit.”
In fact, once we’re ensconced in a happy relationship, it has a huge impact not just on our emotional life, but on our physicality. Our partner’s presence will regulate 
our breathing, our heart rate, our sleep patterns and our appetite.
People in good relationships have even been found to heal quicker than those who are single or in bad relationships. It seems that finding the right person changes the very essence of us, and we are genetically predisposed to become dependent on them.

In Order For Work Stress Not Disturb

Work and stress sometimes can not be separated. Feel stress at work is also a natural thing. But do not let the stress becomes excessive and disturbing psychological condition.
Here are some tips that can sense the stress under control.

Discover sources of stress.
You are stressed because of work piling up, or less time with family? Find out quickly what is the source of stress. If you work too much, you can create a list of priorities which should be done in advance. Making a schedule can also make you better time management, so the work does not pile up. If indeed you feel too tired, it could not hurt to take leave for a while and rest your brain and physical. Change your lifestyle. There have been many studies that reveal that a healthy lifestyle can reduce stress. Take the time to work out in busy schedules. Eat nutritious foods. Reduce drinking alcohol or smoking, because two of these things make your stress worse.

Enough sleep
Lack of sleep can exacerbate stress levels. Make sure when you reach sleep 5-6 hours a day. When adequate sleep, the body will be refreshed, the brain was re-primed. You are also ready for the challenges of the job. Speaking at the employerIf this is the amount of work and responsibilities you already absurd and excessive, it's good to talk about it to superiors. Employer may provide a way out, for example, delegating some duties to another colleague. Do not let excessive workload make you sick both physically and mentally.

Analysis of the type of work
If all of the above and you are still experiencing severe stress, try to analyze the willingness and your abilities. It may be that during the field work is a profession that you do not fit with the willingness and ability. This also consult with the personnel in the office. Maybe you could be placed in other areas is more appropriate.

Good luck!